The Misadventures of Amy and Lauren 4: Joints and Such
by Huck23
Summary: Amy and Lauren have a talk about Theo.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This is the replacement for the original Misadventures of L&amp;A. I decided the first one was a little too dark (and I just couldn't kill the baby off!) so I created this new one. The old one is going to be submitted as a second chapter just so peeps can see what I originally did.

*Also, because of a guest review on my The Five Times Amy Got Cristina'd, I want to let everyone know that I am quite aware that Lauren as an intersex person cannot have biological children. I also want to point out that I wrote those stories back in June (long before the intersex story line was even revealed) and that my Misadventures stories are just an extension of the two Cristina'd stories so they follow that story line. So any stories in the Misadventures series ignore Lauren being intersex. Eventually I'll write on that aspect of Lauren's life but for now I'm just going to continue on this train.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Faking It or any of the characters.

* * *

"Theo's a fucking cop." Lauren's words didn't hold their usually bite. Instead they sounded weak and defeated.

Amy on the other hand was just incredulous. "I can't believe that Theo's a cop and that I punched him…in the face."

Currently, the two girls are curled up on opposite ends of the cream so in living room. The TV before them is dark, neither girl interested in watching a show or a movie.

"Don't forget the part where you went to jail. What am I saying? That's a dyke paradise, you probably loved it."

The insult falls flat because again Lauren's words are missing something. She's just letting them fall out of her mouth without any care.

Amy notices this. She glances in Lauren's direction and arches a brow. "You okay?" She doesn't really want to ask the question. I mean, who really wants to know what's going on inside of Lauren's head? Amy sure as hell doesn't.

Laure shrugs. "I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine." As soon as the words leave her mouth, Amy wants to slap herself. Dumb, dumb, dumb! If she says she's fine let her be fine. **But she's not. **Aaaand? How is that our problem? **She's our step-sister! **I don't care.** But we should. **But I don't.** But we shou-**

"Why wouldn't I be?" Lauren asked interrupting Amy's littler war with herself. "My boyfriend was only an undercover cop who infiltrated our school in order to find a drug dealer while simultaneously using me in the process." The words dripped with anger and bitterness.

"Laur-."

"Save it Amy." Lauren let out a long sigh. Amy could have sworn it was the most exhausted sound she had heard in her entire life. "I thought I found someone who liked me, all of me." Lauren gripped the side of the sofa hard, trying (and failing) desperately to claw into it. "But instead he used me."

Amy shook her head. "I don't think he was using you Lauren. I think he really did care about you."

Amy sucked at this. She really, really did. She's wasn't going to leave Lauren hanging though, no matter how big of a minefield her step-sister's emotions were.

"I stand by not thinking that he used but maybe now wasn't the time. I'm mean we're in high school. A lot of shit's going to happen between now and whenever." Amy was quite aware that her last sentence didn't sound that great but she trudged along anyway. "But I sure that they'll be some other guy who'll come along and love all of who you are. Bitchiness and all."

Laure stayed slumped against the couch. "Whatever. I don't care anymore."

* * *

**A Night Several Years Later: **

"Whatever, Amy! I don't care, I'm coming to where the fuck you are. NOW!"

It was 1 a.m. and Lauren was speeding down the high way towards a restaurant called Nick's and Dick's Joint. Lauren had never stepped a foot inside of the place let alone heard of it before Amy rung her phone that night but she was sure that she hated it with everything inside of her.

"Doooon't worraaay, Laur. Can I call you that? Can I call you Laur?"

Amy at 1 a.m. was intoxicated. Well above the legal limit for someone who was supposed to hop in a car and driver herself home.

Lauren groaned. "We go through this every time you get drunk. You cannot call me Laur. Never ev-BITCH! DID I TELL YOU, YOU COULD COME OVER?"

Lauren glared furiously at the back of the mini-van driver that had just cut her off.

"Where the hell was I?"

"You said the Laur was cool. Supa cool."

"No, no I didn't."

"Mmmhmm."

"No I didn't!"

"Did too!"

"Look, I am not arguing with you about what I did not say. I'm coming to grab your ass and bring you home. Then I'm going to try to get some sleep before I have to attend my meeting at 9 tomorrow morning."

"Oooh, you're going to be talking about lawyer stuffs?"

"Yeah I'm going to be talking about lawyer stuffs." Lauren deadpanned.

Suddenly Amy was yelling. "Hey, get off of my phone!"

"Amy! Amy, what's going on?" Lauren was panicking. What if someone was trying to drag her sister off and rape her? "Amy!"

"Hi, this is Nick Wilson."

"Why the fuck are you on my sister's phone?"

"Well my establishment has been closed for about an hour now and your sister is still here and still very drunk. While I'd like to go home for the night I need to make sure that she'll get out of here soon."

"Why not call a cab?"

"When I asked her for an address she told 345 Tracey's a giant bitch lane." Lauren couldn't help but snort. "Don't get me wrong but I'm pretty sure the cab wasn't going to take her there."

"Yeah. I don't think so either." Lauren looked up at the Garmin GPS on her dashboard. "Look, my GPS says I should be there in ten minutes. So she'll be out of your hair soon."

"Thanks and if it mean anything I agree. Tracey's a giant bitch."

"Let me guess, Amy mentioned the whole Tracey was married and pregnant during their entire relationship thing, right?"

"She practically screamed it out after her third drink."

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Fuckin' light weight."

"Tell me about it."

"I'm going to kill Tracey for doing this to her. Fucking run the bitch down with my car." Lauren growled with anger.

"Then go back over her in reverse."

"Then step out of the car."

"Pull a bat from the trunk!"

"And then give it to her real good!"

The two burst into laughter.

"Sounds like a date." Nick chuckled.

Lauren smiled. "Definitely."

"Well I'll see you when you get here."

"Alrighty and hopefully it's the last time you have to see me."

Nick, who was standing by a drunken Amy hunched over in a bar stool, shook his even though he knew Lauren couldn't see him. "Something tells me we'll meet again."


	2. Chapter 2

**So here is the original Misadventures of A and L:**

**A/N: **

**Two things:**

*Don't kill me for the ending and yes Addie has a crap ton of donut onsies.

*This is kind of set after 2.9 and before 2.10

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Faking It or any of the characters.

* * *

"I mean I think it will blow over but what if I'm wrong, what if it doesn't?" Amy stated in a panic.

Lauren rolled her eyes. She had spent half her Friday night listening to Amy go on about her newest Karma crap.

Did Lauren personally think it was going to blow over? Hell no!

"What?!" Amy screeched.

Crap, she'd said that aloud. Fuck it!

"Look Amy I don't give two shits about your Karma drama one way or another. But let's get real here. You slept with her boyfriend. No matter what excuse you use, you still hurt her. Nothing will change that."

"Oh god!" Amy groaned.

Lauren sighed. "Look it was a mistake and sometimes that shit's fatal." She shrugged. "But I bet in this case Karma will come around in no time, it won't be the biggest tragedy of your life."

"B-but you said-."

"Forget what I said!" Lauren yelled cutting Amy off. "I'm telling you now that this mistake isn't the biggest tragedy of your life. That's your hair and your sorry wardrobe."

For a second Amy glared at Lauren and then she gave a small smile. "Thanks Lauren."

Lauren rolled her eyes again. "You can thank me by shutting the hell up for the rest of the night."

* * *

**In the very distant future:**

"It was a mistake Lauren, a mistake."

Amy feels like she's said it fifty times since Lauren called her.

She left the baby home.

She left at 8. Arrived at 9. Panicked at 10.

At 10:15 Amy got the call and she was in her Mercedes racing down the highway. Soon she was bolting up the staircase of Lauren's two story home.

All the while she can hear Lauren breathing. Breathing so hard. But she hasn't cried yet.

She's yelling in only that that frantic, panicked…sad, that sad, hiding way that Lauren can.

Amy can still hear Lauren damn near hyperventilating over the phone when she finally stands over the baby's crib.

"A mistake." Amy stated softly, gently.

She was almost smiling.

She looked down at the tiny baby sleeping in the cherry wood crib before her. The baby girl was dressed in a yellow onsie with a sprinkled donut in the center. Her eyes were closed; the child's long black eye lashes contrasted strikingly against her cream colored skin and her plump pink lips were parted slightly. Her little hands were curled into fists at her sides and her tiny feet were stretched out so that the tiny pink circles that made up her toes faced upward. The mop of golden curls on her head fell across her cheeks like rays of sunshine on the warmest of summer days.

The baby lay quiet; she looked the perfect picture of peace.

It didn't take long for Amy to notice that the baby's chest did not rise or fall. She was still

So Still.

She placed a hand gently on the baby's back. "Addie…" she whispered.

She was cold. So cold.

Amy knew instantly.

"Amy! Amy!" Lauren called over the phone frantically. "Fucking answer me, Amy!"

Amy could hear Lauren begin to breath heavily again. She heard the sounds of papers being shoved; of them fluttered around as they floated away.

"AMY!" Lauren yelled.

Glass shattering.

"FUCKING ANSWER ME, AMY!"

Fist against a wooden desk.

"Please…" Lauren begged, damn near sobbing.

"She's sleeping." Amy stated quietly.

"What?"

"Addie, she's sleeping." Amy's hand was still pressed to the baby's cold, unmoving back. "She's sleeping."

"Sleeping?" Lauren questioned, relief coloring her tone.

Amy nodded to just herself as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Yeah, she's sleeping."


End file.
